


Declining a Public Appearance

by Wish_I_Had_A_Tail



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, It never goes well, Mutant Rights, Oneshot, Slice of Life, The X-men do PR stuff, kind of, more like mutant microaggressions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 23:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wish_I_Had_A_Tail/pseuds/Wish_I_Had_A_Tail
Summary: Occasionally, the leader of the X-men has to navigate public relations. Nightcrawler has a creative solution.





	Declining a Public Appearance

Kurt found Scott in the kitchen, sitting at the table and staring mournfully at his phone. In the beginning, it had taken the two of them months of acquaintance to learn how to decode where it was the other was looking. By now Kurt could clearly tell that Scott did not look up at him when he raised his brows in silent acknowledgement. He downed the rest of his cup the same way. Kurt made a slow arc around the table, peering over Scott’s shoulder. There wasn’t even anything compelling on the screen – it was opened to his recent calls.

Curious, Kurt poured himself a cup of coffee. He cradled his cup in both hands and brought the pot over to hover Scott’s with his tail. “Refill?”

Scott finally glanced up at him. “No, thanks.”

“Has your phone done something wrong?”

“No,” Scott sighed. “I’m trying to think of how to turn down a speaking engagement.”

Kurt perched on the table beside him, crouching over the phone. “Whose?”

Scott slid the phone away from himself with one finger. “Murdoch’s daughter.” His head tilted just slightly back down, gaze returning to the screen. “She’s opening up a new office, or franchise or some such Sunday. She wants me there to say a few words. If I cancel and offend him, I’m worried he’ll stop funding us.”

“You specifically, or the X-men in general?”

Scott shrugged.

“Why don’t we want to speak at her event?”

Scott’s brow creased deeper. “Because she’s been a vocal supporter of some of Senator Kelly’s more extreme proposals.”

Kurt tilted his head quizzically. “But we’re taking her father’s money?”

“Kurt,” he snapped, frustrated, “we take anyone’s money. If I turned down a check from everyone with a mutant hating relative, I’d have to turn down everyone.”

Kurt sipped his coffee loudly. “If she hates mutants, why does she want you there?”

“Because she doesn’t want to seem like she hates mutants,” Scott said. “More than is fashionable,” he amended.

“Ah. So you are a PR prop.”

“Exactly a PR prop,” he agreed. “We’ve had a good month in the news,” he said wearily. “She hasn’t.” Kurt bit the inside of his cheek in thought.

“Give me the phone,” he said suddenly. Scott looked up at him in surprise. He hesitated a moment, then handed it over without a word. Kurt hit the call button, put the phone on speaker. They both listened to it ring.

_“Hello? Ms. Murdoch’s office.”_

“Hi!” Kurt beamed, matching her bright tone. “This is Nightcrawler from the X-men. I’m calling back about the opening on Sunday?”

_“Oh, fantastic,”_ was the immediate reply. Clearly they’d been expecting Scott’s call._ “Will Mr. Summers be available, then?”_

“I’m sorry, no,” Kurt said tragically. “Cyclops has a mission to run off-planet that day. A D’bari crisis intervention. You understand.”

There was a pause. _“Oh – of course –”_

“But the X-men are always willing to help Ms. Murdoch with whatever she needs! She is a _dear friend_,” Kurt stressed. “A dear friend.” He paused theatrically, letting the silence linger for a moment. “So I would be more than happy to step in and take his place.”

Scott frowned at him. Kurt held up a finger_._

_“Well, thank you so much!” _chirped the voice on the other line. _“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch your name?”_

“Nightcrawler,” he said genially. “Kurt Wagner.”

There was another pause, longer than the first. Kurt nodded knowingly. “Googling,” he mouthed at Scott.

_“Um,”_ the voice returned uncertainly._ “Mr. Wagner, can you just hold on for – for one moment?”_

“Of course.”

Kurt pressed the mute button decisively with his finger, and flashed Scott a smug smile.

“Off-planet?” Scott repeated blandly.

“You might be in space by Sunday,” Kurt said calmly. “If you like, I can say you have something in another dimension.”

Scott cracked a smile despite himself. The hold music jingled monotonously. “What if she wants you to go?”

Kurt smiled thinly. “Based on what you told me—"

_“Mr. Wagner?”_

Kurt unmuted the phone with a tap. “Yes?”

_“I spoke with Ms. Murdoch – is there, by any chance, is there anyone else available that day?”_

Kurt glanced sidelong at Scott. He smiled wryly into the phone. “Not that I know of,” he said with strained cheerfulness, “but I’m fully on board – tell me, when should I be there?”

There was another telling pause. _“We’ll give you a call in the next few days,” _he offered evasively,_ “would that be all right?”_

Victorious, Kurt hovered his finger meaningfully over the end call button. “Sounds great,” he said. “Have a fantastic day.” He hung up without waiting for a response and handed Scott his phone back.

“Wow,” he said, pocketing it. “Well done. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“That was quite a bluff.”

Kurt took a long drink. When he’d swallowed, he said, “Not a bluff.”

“They could have accepted,” Scott pointed out.

“They never do.” Kurt’s smile was dry. “How do you think I discovered this talent?”

Scott's face fell into a frown. Kurt tilted back his head and swallowed down the last of his coffee. He jumped down from the table, placed his mug in the dishwasher. The frown on Scott's face seemed as if it would stay etched in his skin for years.

“Small steps, Kurt,” he said wearily.

“Yes, yes.” Kurt patted Scott on the shoulder as he passed. “Don’t ever say I don’t add anything to the team,” he said lightly, then vanished.

**Author's Note:**

> It maybe says something about me that the only things Scott ever does in my writing is administrative stuff.
> 
> I like to imagine this happens like a week after that one scene in All-New All-Different X-men where Cyclops goes on that long monologue about how hard his life is with his eyes and no one understands.


End file.
